Just add inspirational word art.
You’ve probably heard the term floating out in the ether: cheugy. What is it? Various thinkpieces, from the New York Times to Vice, broadly define it as “you know it when you see it.” Turns out they see us, my Millennial sisters. Our side-parts, our skinny jeans: it’s all cheugy AF. (“AF”? Also cheugy.) Some would advise you to ditch these outdated trends. But I say, if you’re cheugy, lean in with these cheugy baby names. (Because you just know that one minute after the last Millennial stops using the laugh/cry emoji everything cheugy will be cool again.)
The term gained popularity on the one place the youths knew we wouldn’t look: TikTok (what even is a TikTok) and is defined by Urban Dictionary as “the opposite of trendy.” Personally, I define it as “a mean teen who thinks she invented the middle-part (you did not, Madisyn) realizing Millennials were no longer hurt when you called them ‘basic’ and needing a new term to make us feel old and insecure.”
Seriously: cheugy is Ugg boots and Juicy Couture. Word art in your living room and getting obsessively into #SweaterWeather. IT’S THE SAME THING AS BASIC!
But, since we have open minds and a sense of humor about our own trends, here are some top contenders for cheugy baby names, because I say cheugs should own their cheuginess!
Nothing summarizes what it means to be cheugy quite like the idea of being a “girlboss” who can broker power deals while still being fashionable AF. Look, she has the inspirational word art hanging in her office to prove it! She doesn’t care what you think (except on social media: she will be in a bad mood for weeks if you don’t like her latest Instagram post).
Because if there’s one thing a #Girlboss loves, it’s a multi-level marketing scheme that allows her to reach out to friends she hasn’t seen since high school with a text “Hey girl!”
And before you ask: no, there is no oil for cheugy…
There’s debate about which is the official beverage of cheugs (there are so many in the running…) but LaCroix seltzer – indistinguishable from literally any other seltzer but for the inexplicable hype surrounding it – is a top contender.
Bonus points if you pronounce it in the French way (la kwah) rather than the correct way (la croy), according to the company.
Or Ron, or Harry, or Sirius, or Draco, or Nymphadora or most of the other name from the Harry Potter franchise since being obsessed with Harry Potter is cheugy. No word yet on the more common names like George, Luna, Lily, or Ginny that could or could not be based on the books. Maybe it’s a question of intent…?
But, like, Leviosa (or LevioSA)? Cheugy AF.
Cheugy autumn is as aesthetic, epitomized by the concept of Christian Girl Autumn — booties, big scarves, skinny jeans (a cheugy closet staple), long sweaters, perfectly coiffed wavy hair. If you’ve posed in an apple orchard: you’re cheugy. If you’ve made a boomerang of you throwing fallen leaves in the air? Cheugy. Yes, autumn is the cheugiest time of year… except for…
From twee floppy hats to triangl bikinis to Tory Burch sandals to your #AintNoLawsWhenYoureDrinkingClaws group selfies: this season has so much to offer the cheugiest among us.
This an ode to two things: a cheugy twofer, if you will.
1) Rae Dunn, the mother of cheuggy home accessories, lets everyone know that you’re a lady who appreciates a clean, simply aesthetic… and waking up really early to get on line at Home Goods because you heard they would be getting new items in today. (If this is too direct a tribute for you, you could just dress your baby all in white and write “Baby” in shaky, elongated print on all their clothing. )
2) Ray Bans because, admit it, you still have that pair of aviators.
Matte for sure had a moment – matte nail polish, matte lipstick, Kylie Jenner’s matte Mercedes. Bonus, if you decide to renounce your cheugy ways at any point you can just drop the “e” and say it’s short for Matthew.
Or Jim or Dwight or Andy or Creed. Because power-watching a season of The Office for the 12th time in a single weekend? Here’s your crown, your cheuginess. (You do know there are other shows, right…?)
Because your love of Rae Dunn likely comes after you got hardcore into the farmhouse aesthetic first popularized by Chip and Joanna Gaines Fixer Upper.
Again, if this is too on the nose for you, feel free to go with the name Greige, an ode to the gray/beige color that these two love to paint absolutely everything except for the things they paint white. (Colors? Not today, Satan.)
Another top contender for the cheugiest beverage and, also, not a bad name! Feel free to pair this with a middle name that really drives home the fact that you never stopped wearing Ugg boots.
“This is my daughter, Rosé Alldé.”
Since “cheugy” is really just another way of making fun of the trends that captured Millennial zeitgeist, it would frankly be irresponsible not to include a name that referenced “Millennial pink,” the color of a generation
… you know, the other color of a generation. OMG, you guys, you could have twins and name one MP and one RG. So cheugy.
The cheug’s natural habitat is a hyper-curated Instagram account – filters are carefully selected and even the “candid” shots were taken about 12 times to get the perfect angle – so it makes sense to #bless your child with a name that celebrates the online space where friends, family, and people you met at a party once 12 years ago can keep abreast of literally everything you and your child are doing.
Or Aurora, or Jasmine, or Tianna, or Ariel, or any other Disney princess. As with Harry Potter, being an adult with a Disney obsession is key indicator that you’re peak cheug.
How do you know your love of Disney is an obsession? Well, let’s be honest here: naming your kid after a princess is probably a good indication. That’s basically like slapping Mickey ears on your baby as soon as you start crowning.
By mashing multiple naming trends together (Mc; Pay(ton)(sley); -leigh; y; -ton; -son) I believe we have concocted the cheugiest baby name the world has ever seen. This may, in fact, be too powerful. Risks associated with going too cheugy include your child being born wearing a rose gold bar necklace that says “Live Laugh Love,” which can complicate your birth plan. Ask your doctor if McPayleightynson is right for you.
A hashtag, whether used sort of ironically on Facebook (“Another blowout: #MomLife”) or en masse on Instagram (Summer vacay with the fam! #HotGirlSummer #LifeIsABeach #BeachBody #BodyPositivity #BeachHairDontCare #Summer #Vacation #Sunset #GoodVibesOnly… etc etc) is the cheugy calling card. Zorro had his Z … and cheugy folks have #NoFilter.
… because it’s like “Adulting*” but like a girl’s name!
*making “adult” a verb is very, very cheugy, I’m told.
Chevron is a cheugy person’s very favorite pattern, from phone cases to rugs to vision board backgrounds (of course you have a vision board).
PS: I absolutely promise you “Chevron” will show up on the Top 1,000 baby names now that this suggestion has been put out into the ether. Mark my words…
This name is pronounced P-S-L because, let’s face it: you and I both know your life revolves around the day in late August when Starbucks announces the coming of your Pumpkin Spice Latte. Celebrate that with this truly classy and creative name…
A cheugy girl never came across a meme in a pretty font she didn’t like… and then immediately post on face book with a cry/laugh emoji saying “OMG, it me!”
(Also, though, like, Meme is kind of a cute name…?)
And Ross, Phoebe, Monica, Joey, and Rachel.
Could you be any more cheugy?
There’s little cheugier than a podcast, so this name works. It also makes for a great dumb joke “Well, everyone else had a podcast so I figured I’d make one, too!” *rimshot*
If you want to go the extra mile, make Podcast a middle name. First name “True-Crime.”
OK, not going to lie to you here: I think naming a child Minion is lowkey hilarious. Not only because Minions memes are a standard part of any cheugy social media feed, but because it’s just funny to refer to your child as a minion.
You can say it’s short for Louisa, but we’ll all know it’s short for Lululemon. (If you spent less than $100 for yoga pants do you even cheug?)
Because remember when no one knew what “cheugy” was but one could still vocalize their disdain by calling someone basic? I say we bring cheugy back to its roots.
Because people are going to make fun of all the things you like at some point and I say love what you love and just lean into it. Don’t let teenagers calling you cringey get you down.
And so: *raises rosé* here’s to you, you cheugy betches! #winning
And remember, Gen Z, we’ll remember every. damn. thing. you made fun of us for when these trends eventually make a comeback and you jump on them. Like our beachy waves and the boots we wear over our jeans, our memories are long